Celebrity Death Haiku

Rush Limbaugh

1941-2021

The opposite truth
A name for me in Latin
For you, cruelty

Don’t think about it
The women in numbers like
He was good in bed

80s audience
The big suits, stockings even
Blood bath reckoning

Gelatinous claims
Succor of cigar and pills
His mic’s dead at last

Dead air fresh air, mic
All your breath and breasts harming
Those mourning him now

--S.E.Anderson

 

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

1933-2020

Held on for as long
As she could--longer, even
It's up to us now.

--O'Cyrus

* * *

Time to live up to
Her undying faith in us
We owe her no less

--J.K. Russell

* * *

Be like a dybbuk.
Stick around in spirit form
For the whole new year.

 

--James M. Maloney

 

 

Paul Volcker

1927-2019

Chairman of the Fed,
Advisor to so many,
Frugal to a fault.

--James M Maloney

John Paul Stevens

1920-2019

BONG HITS 4 JESUS
Was where he shone in dissent.
Bow-tie Justice gone

—James M Maloney

 

 

Ross Perot

1930-2019

Not a hater, true
But mainstreamed wackadoodle
Runs for president

--Romona Clift

* * *

Torrents of money
The politics beckoned twice
And he was all ears

--Michael Dominowski

Marion Barry

1936-2014

Barry caught on tape
When no one got caught on tape
He was first on line

—Dr. Vitz

Shirley Temple Black

1928-2014

Maybe tap dance is
Best possible training for
Diplomatic work

—Dr. Vitz

* * *

Chubby-cheeked girl who
Sang about the Lollipop
Sails away on it

—Tracey

 

Margaret Thatcher

1925–2013

First female PM
Thought Reagan was a pussy
(She had bigger balls)

—Jeff Tiedrich

 

Hugo Chavez

1954–2013

Chavez hated us
But enough time and pressure
Could make him our fuel

—Dr. Vitz

 

Van Cliburn

1934-2013

Outplayed the commies
While a grateful America
Pretended to care

— Jeff Tiedrich

Ed Koch

1924–2013

It's not a good day
For Ed Koch to be asking
"Hey, how'm I doin'?"

—Jeff Tiedrich

 

Arlen Specter

1930–2012

Soughtt magic bullet.
Why change affiliation?
Sought magic ballots.

— Dr. Vitz

 

Gore Vidal

1925–2012

With pen sharp and tongue
Sharper venomous Vidal
Gored all sacred cows

— E. Basil St. Blaise

 

Rodney King

1965-2012

Bad luck magnet whose
Best/worst luck was his beat-down
Getting caught on tape

—G. Runyon

Mike Wallace

1918–2012

Flash of pearly whites
A gentle "Forgive me, but..."
He went for the kill

— Russell 1000

* * *

How did anyone
Hiding something think that
They could outwit him?

— O'Cyrus

 

Andrew Breitbart

1969–2012

Quick with opinions
And could adjust the edits
To create own facts

— Dr. Vitz

 

Kim Jong-Il

1942–2011

Word fun: change just one
Letter of  "Dear Leader" for
His status update

— Roger Rabid

* * *

Cartoon Bond villain
Wearing Jackie-O's eyewear
Eraserhead's hair

— Abbie Rhodes

 

Christopher Hitchens

1949–2011

Often made me mad.
Always made me think about
Why he'd made me mad

— Lairbo

* * *

Brilliant or blowhard?
We won't know until all of
His friends are dead, too

— Russell 1000

 

Muammar Gaddafi

1942 – 2011

Spell it "Gadhafi",
"Qaddafi" or "Khadafy",
He's "khasualty" now

— Russell 1000

 

John M. Shalikashvili

1936–2011

From draftee to top
Brass hat; agreed not to ask
Hoping no one'd tell

— Russell 1000

* * *

Shalikashvili's
Name alone wasted entire
Line of death haiku

— Dr. Vitz

 

 

Betty Ford

1918–2011

If we voted for
First Ladies, Betty would've
Been a two-termer

— Lairbo

* * *

Made celebrity
Sobriety hip and, for
Some, habitual

— Roger Rabid

 

Osama Bin Laden

1957–2011

First — stop thumbing nose
Next — you are headed down and
Don't expect virgins

— David Pelovitz

 

Geraldine Ferraro

1935–2011

Never stood a chance
But still managed to stand for
Something, nonetheless

— Russell 1000

 * * *

At least if she'd got 
Near the White House she'd have know
What to do with it

— Roger Rabid

 

David Frye

1934 – 2011

It was uncanny — 
I mean, you could have sworn that
Nixon died again

— Jeff Tiedrich

 * * *

Meader (Kennedy),
Frye (Nixon), Hartman (Clinton) . . .
Look out, Tina Fey

— Russell 1000 

Sargent Shriver

1915 – 2011

Camelot in-law
Did the heavy lifting of
Public servitude

— Russell 1000