Celebrity Death Haiku

Marilyn French

1929 – 2009

When she wrote, men fled

And sisters read. Ms. French made

Room for women's lib

— PK

John Updike

1932 – 2009

Can anyone name

Three non-Rabbit books he wrote?

I didn't think so 

—Lairbo

* * *

Of all his Rabbit books

Watership Down is my fave...

What? That wasn't him?

—Russell 1000

Michael Crichton

1942 – 2008

Very tall teller

Of even taller tales 'bout

Dinosaurs gone wild

— Lairbo

Studs Terkel

1912 – 2008

Helluva talker

Even better listener

Luckily for us

— Lairbo

 

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

1918 – 2008

Solzhenitsyn's name

Barely fits onto one line;

Problem for haiku

— Lairbo

* * *

Bitched about Russia;

Bitched about the west; heaven or

Hell's in for it now

— Lairbo

Arthur C. Clarke

 

1917 – 2008

Wrote script for movie
Hijacked by genius gone wild
Ending unexplained

— Lairbo

* * *

We get the moon part
And the computer gone nuts
But the "Star Child"? Huh?

— Philco

William F. Buckley

1925 – 2008

Now, from way up there
We look even tinier
Than he thought we were

— Lairbo

* * *

Not enough lines here
To quote the late Bill Buckley
Too many big words

— Jakalu

Norman Mailer

   1922 – 2007

Ego v Talent. 

Always ready to rumble 

Fought to the finish 

— Lairbo

Arthur Miller

1915 – 2005

Death of a playwright
He fucked Marilyn Monroe
Can't think of third line

— Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

Arthur Miller's Dead
Now with Marilyn and Joe
Dead as a salesman

— Lairbo

Alistaire Cooke

1908 – 2004

From a fireside

Wing chair, he explained us to

Brits and vice versa

— Lairbo

Douglas Adams

1952 – 2001

Makes his dent in the 

Universe, then leaves us to

Ponder forty-two

— Lairbo

Charles M. Schultz

1922 – 2000

Cloaked big, sad heart in

World-weary kids' wisdom, wit

And warm puppies

— Lairbo

Mario Puzo

1920 – 1999

With just one book, he
Revived his own, Brando's and
Coppola's career

— Lairbo

Isaac Asimov

1920 – 1992

Laid the foundation

For popular sci-fi and

Enormous sideburns

— Lairbo

Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss)

1904 – 1991

He does not like death in

A box, nor does he like it

Under rocks; it socks

— Lairbo

* * *

Sam slammed Mother Goose

With green-eggs-and-ham iambs

Prescribed by Doc Seuss

— St. Blaise

Raold Dahl

1916 – 1990

Fox, twit, witch or bitch

Twas' never a Dahl moment

If a reader yawned

— St. Blaise

Francois Truffaut

1932 – 1984

Best film was about 

Making a lousy movie

Himself at the helm

— Lairbo

* * *

Gushed about Hitchcock

But his true French heart belonged

To Monsieur Jerry

— Phil Valens

Lillian Hellman

1905 – 1984

Her recollections,
However faulty, were more
Fun than her fiction

— Lairbo

Tennessee Williams

1911 – 1983

Did pretty well by

Relying on the kindness

Of audiences

— Lairbo

Ayn Rand

1906 – 1982

Neocon pin-up

Libertarian heart-throb

Hack philosopher

— Lairbo

Jean-Paul Sartre

1905 – 1980

Trades being for, oh

What's that word for not being?

Oh, yeah, nothingness

— Lairbo

Al Capp

1909 – 1979

Dogpatch? That's halfway

Between Doonesbury and the

Okefenokee

— Lairbo

Agatha Christie

1890 – 1976

Nasty business this 

Murder stuff, but without it

What would Marple do?

— Russell 1000

 

* * *

 

What would she think of

Stephen King, I wonder?

Bloody fast typist!

— Phil Valens

Bennett Cerf

1898 – 1971

Guessed at people's lines
Wrote limericks and, oh, built
Publishing empire

— Roger Rabid

Ogden Nash

1902 – 1971

Haiku for poet

Of couplets and odd odes?

Limerick better

— Lairbo