Celebrity Death Haiku

Diana Rigg

1938-2020

Jump-started many 
A young boy’s adolescence 
Cat suit and Jag helped

—Abbie Rhodes

Role model for girls
Cautionary tale for boys
Kick-ass sex symbol

—Olivia Cromwell

Saw her in that play
Abelard and Heloise
Totally naked

—Roger Rabid

Goodbye, Mrs. Peel.
In your youth you taught me well.
Your faithful steed heeds.

 

---James M. Maloney

Astrid Kirchherr

1936-2020

George Martin was fifth,
Surely. But she was sixth first
Gave us the mop tops

--O'Cyrus

 

Knew them from “before”
Took their pix and cut their hair
Creating “after”

--Russell 1000

 

Met them in Hamburg.
Hooked up with the bass player.
So Paul dropped guitar.

--Joshua Raoul Brody

 

Edd "Kookie" Byrnes

1933-2020

Slickest hair of all
77 Sunset's 
Epic pompadours

--O'Cyrus

Hairstyle that launched a
Million tubes of Brylcreem and
his cool-guy career

--Kim Ono

Godfather to Fonz
First DA on network show
Lent no one his comb

--Christian Marder

 

Kate Spade

1962-2018

Empire of pockets
Bagged fashion’s rising clamor.
The rest is silence.

—Michael Dominowski

David Bowie

1947 – 2016

The chameleon
From oddity to hero
Suffers last changes

— Dr. Vitz

 

Helen Gurley Brown

1922–2012

Knew her audience
Better than they knew themselves;
Cheese for mouseburgers

— O'Cyrus

* * *

Did death tap its foot
While she finished dressing or
Roll its eyes and wait?

— Russell 1000 

Dick Clark

1929–2012

Let the last ball drop
On world's oldest teenager's
Rockin' Mid-Year's Grieve

— Jeff Tiedrich

 * * *

New Year's without Clark?
Still fun -- harder to dance to
I give it a six

-- Dr. Vitz

 

Erich Segal

1937 – 2010

Singlehandedly

Revived four-hankie weepers

As movie genre

— Lairbo

 

* * *

Love means saying you're 

Sorry a lot, even if 

You're not sure what for

— Phil Valens

* * *

Yellow Submarine

Doesn't begin to balance

Love Story's hokum

— Lairbo

Sy Syms

1926 – 2009

The Grim Reaper, an

Educated consumer,

Gets Sy off-the-rack

— Lairbo

Irving Penn

1917 – 2009

Subject matter did
Not matter so much to him
He was making art

— Lairbo

* * *

Fame, fashion, fortune
Artist without artifice
Always clean and clear

— Russell 1000

Mr. Blackwell

1922 – 2008

Died (we only hope)

Wearing something that wouldn't

Have mortified him

— Lairbo

 

Yves Saint Laurent

1936 – 2008

Despite all he did

What we remember most are

Those giant glasses

— Lairbo

Tammy Wynette

1942 – 1998

Sang about standing 

By her man, but when it came

Down to it, didn't

— O'Cyrus

Sonny Bono

1935 – 1998

La de da de de

The beat goes on without him

La de da de da

— Lairbo

Spuds MacKenzie

1983 – 1993

Lassie was really
Male, so why such a big deal
That Spuds was a bitch?

— O'Cyrus

* * *

Spuds, that bitch, trying
To be so butch with all the
The hot chicks and beer

— Roger Rabid

Keith Haring

1958 – 1990

Subway graffitist

To pop art icon; did he

Sell out or buy in?

— Russell 1000

Robert Mapplethorpe

1946 – 1989

Pictures dirty in

Eye of beholder or

Just as intended

— Lairbo

Andy Warhol

1923 – 1986

Made being famous
For no good reason into
A viable art form

— Philco

 

Mae West

1893 – 1980

South of Heaven, West's

Chickadee may coo, "Come down

And see me sometime

— St. Blaise

Thomas Gainsborough

1727–1788

As fond of Blue Boy
As a Sears shutterbug
Of the day's last brat

—  Lairbo

 

Oscar Wilde

1854 – 1900

In the end it was
The wallpaper that didn't
Leave the hotel room

— Lairbo

 

Carmen Miranda

1909 – 1955

She could sing, she could
Dance, but all we saw was that
Fruit basket up top

— Lairbo

Marilyn Monroe

1926 – 1962

Lover of playwrights,
Presidents, ballplayers — God
Knows who the hell else

— Roger Rabid

* * *

Needed more love than
Men, the movies and public
Acclaim could give her

— O'Cyrus

* * *

At least she didn't
Have to read Mailer's jack-off 
Tribute books to her

— Lairbo

Florenz Ziegfeld

1867 – 1932

Girls, girls, girls and more
Girls in racy costumes — and
Also Fanny Brice

— O'Cyrus

Carmen Miranda

1909 – 1955

She could sing, she could
Dance, but all we saw was that
Fruit basket up top

— Lairbo