Celebrity Death Haiku

Larry King

1933-2021

Talked to anyone
About anything, mostly
If they were famous

-- E.K. Moss

 

Star-struck by celebs
Schmoozed with the famous and those
Trying to get there

--Abbie Rhodes

 

Alex Trebek

1940-2020

Did anyone not
Like this guy? Answer
With a question, please

—Abbie Rhodes

 

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

1933-2020

Held on for as long
As she could--longer, even
It's up to us now.

--O'Cyrus

* * *

Time to live up to
Her undying faith in us
We owe her no less

--J.K. Russell

* * *

Be like a dybbuk.
Stick around in spirit form
For the whole new year.

 

--James M. Maloney

 

 

George Floyd

1974-2020

The final last straw
Will justice be served, ever
The jury's still out.

--Tom Morrow

 

 

John Paul Stevens

1920-2019

BONG HITS 4 JESUS
Was where he shone in dissent.
Bow-tie Justice gone

—James M Maloney

 

 

Hugo Chavez

1954–2013

Chavez hated us
But enough time and pressure
Could make him our fuel

—Dr. Vitz

 

Arlen Specter

1930–2012

Soughtt magic bullet.
Why change affiliation?
Sought magic ballots.

— Dr. Vitz

 

Helen Gurley Brown

1922–2012

Knew her audience
Better than they knew themselves;
Cheese for mouseburgers

— O'Cyrus

* * *

Did death tap its foot
While she finished dressing or
Roll its eyes and wait?

— Russell 1000 

Gore Vidal

1925–2012

With pen sharp and tongue
Sharper venomous Vidal
Gored all sacred cows

— E. Basil St. Blaise

 

Steven Covey

1932–2012

Seven habits of 
Highly effective people
Would include breathing

— E. Basil St. Blaise

 

Andrew Breitbart

1969–2012

Quick with opinions
And could adjust the edits
To create own facts

— Dr. Vitz

 

Kim Jong-Il

1942–2011

Word fun: change just one
Letter of  "Dear Leader" for
His status update

— Roger Rabid

* * *

Cartoon Bond villain
Wearing Jackie-O's eyewear
Eraserhead's hair

— Abbie Rhodes

 

Christopher Hitchens

1949–2011

Often made me mad.
Always made me think about
Why he'd made me mad

— Lairbo

* * *

Brilliant or blowhard?
We won't know until all of
His friends are dead, too

— Russell 1000

 

Muammar Gaddafi

1942 – 2011

Spell it "Gadhafi",
"Qaddafi" or "Khadafy",
He's "khasualty" now

— Russell 1000

 

Betty Ford

1918–2011

If we voted for
First Ladies, Betty would've
Been a two-termer

— Lairbo

* * *

Made celebrity
Sobriety hip and, for
Some, habitual

— Roger Rabid

 

Jack Kervorkian

1928-2011

Suicide's salesman
When facing his own decline
Waited for Reaper

-- Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

As professional
Courtesy, Angel of Death
Says, "I got this one."

 -- Lairbo

* * *

So, did he get a
Little help from his friends or
Just die natcherly?

-- O'Cyrus

 

Osama Bin Laden

1957–2011

First — stop thumbing nose
Next — you are headed down and
Don't expect virgins

— David Pelovitz

 

Sargent Shriver

1915 – 2011

Camelot in-law
Did the heavy lifting of
Public servitude

— Russell 1000

 

Elizabeth Edwards

1949 – 2010

Tried to stand by John
Till he turned ridiculous
She's no Todd Palin

— Dr. Vitz

 * * *

Classier act on
Her worst day than hubby on
Any of his best

— Lairbo

 

Bob Guccione

1930 – 2010

Playboy philosophy
Obsoleted by Penthouse
Gynecology

— Jeff Tiedrich

* * * 

Vanessa Williams 
Totally owes her career
To that photo shoot

— Inshallah

* * * 

Nobody ever
Pretended to read Penthouse
For the articles

— Russell 1000

* * *

Created forum
About sex for those with no
Imagination

— P.J. Guillemot

* * *
Penthouse to outhouse
Gooch's goo-goo eyes could make
Caligula blush

— St. Blaise

* * *

Dear Penthouse Forum
Never thought heaven was real
Might be when Bob comes

— Dr. Vitz

 

 

 

Ted Stevens

1923 – 2010

Is afterlife bridge
To nowhere or a series 
Of tubes? Now he knows

— Roger Rabid

John Callahan

1951 – 2010

Didn't get far on 
Foot, but pushed every limit
There was with his pen

— Lairbo

George Steinbrenner

 1930 – 2010

Suspicious timing:
Did George decide he had to
Fire Bob Sheppard?

— Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

Here's hoping Billy
Martin is among the first
Five people he meets

— Roger Rabid

* * *

George, bring me my lunch
Larry voiced me on Seinfeld
Calzones are the best

— Sue Weiand

Tuli Kupferberg

1923 – 2010

One of the first Beats
His luck to outlive them all
And die unnoticed

— Jeff Tiedrich

Robert Byrd

1917 – 2010

Byrd served the longest
National charter in hand
And pork in pocket

— Dr. Vitz

*** 

Often voted with
The losing side but always
Brought home the bacon

— Russell 1000

* * *

Admitted being
Wrong when he had been and stood
Firm when he was right

— Roger Rabid