Celebrity Death Haiku

Rush Limbaugh

1941-2021

The opposite truth
A name for me in Latin
For you, cruelty

Don’t think about it
The women in numbers like
He was good in bed

80s audience
The big suits, stockings even
Blood bath reckoning

Gelatinous claims
Succor of cigar and pills
His mic’s dead at last

Dead air fresh air, mic
All your breath and breasts harming
Those mourning him now

--S.E.Anderson

 

Alex Trebek

1940-2020

Did anyone not
Like this guy? Answer
With a question, please

—Abbie Rhodes

 

Sean Connery

1930-2020

Goodbye, Sir Thomas.
Mrs. Moneypenny's pole
Awaits your thrown hat.

—James M. Maloney

Seven times as Bond
Nobody did it better
Wish somebody would

—Abbbie Rhodes

Emerge from the waves
Scuba to tux in one zip
That’s how you do that?

As a role model
Bond was untouchable but
Something to shoot for

—Tom Morrow

 

Helen Reddy

1941-2020

One hit wonder spawns
B-List celebrity life
All downhill from there

--Rhonda Helpern

 

Mac Davis

1942-2020

Famous as himself
Got rich writing hit songs for
Late-career Elvis

--Tom Morrow

 

Diana Rigg

1938-2020

Jump-started many 
A young boy’s adolescence 
Cat suit and Jag helped

—Abbie Rhodes

Role model for girls
Cautionary tale for boys
Kick-ass sex symbol

—Olivia Cromwell

Saw her in that play
Abelard and Heloise
Totally naked

—Roger Rabid

Goodbye, Mrs. Peel.
In your youth you taught me well.
Your faithful steed heeds.

 

---James M. Maloney

Milton Glaser

1929-2020

Uncle Miltie's gone
Did it all, inspired us
To do even more

--Olivia Cromwell

 

Ken Osmond

1943-2020

Didn't die in 'Nam
Like Wally and the Beaver
Or become porn star

--Rose Gardner

 

Astrid Kirchherr

1936-2020

George Martin was fifth,
Surely. But she was sixth first
Gave us the mop tops

--O'Cyrus

 

Knew them from “before”
Took their pix and cut their hair
Creating “after”

--Russell 1000

 

Met them in Hamburg.
Hooked up with the bass player.
So Paul dropped guitar.

--Joshua Raoul Brody

 

Jerry Stiller

1927-2020

Serenity now
For a comic actor who
Always seemed ticked off

--Abby Rhodes

John Prine

1946-2020

Dodged superstardom
And many other bullets
Of fame and fortune

--Abbey Rhodes

Bill Withers

1938-2020

Just the two of us,
Alone in the hereafter,
Hoping for the world.

--James M Maloney

Kenny Rogers

1938-2020

Know when to hold on,
You gotta know when to die.
His timing was right.

--James M Maloney

 

Robert Conrad

1935-2020

Short guy with short fuse
Got wild in the Wild Wild West
Eyed Hawaiians

--Thomas Hudson

 

That a battery
On your shoulder or you
Just happy to see me?

--O'Cyrus

 

 

 

Terry Jones

1942-2020

Farewell, Terry J
Naked came the organist
Life is wafer-thin

-O'Cyrus

 

Buck Henry

1930-2020

Got Smart, met Nichols
Graduated to movies,
Samurai target

--Lairbo

 

Ram Dass

1931-2019

Love, serve, remember.
Be here now until you're not,
But still you exist.

--James M Maloney

 

Gahan Wilson

1930-2019

Vividly macabre
He just drew what he saw and
Was funny as hell

--Archie N. Mehetibel

 

Robert Evans

1930-2019

The kid stays in the...
What? Dead? Well, then get me a
Robert Evans type!

--O. Cyrus

 

 

João Gilberto

1931-2019

A guitar, a girl,
Ipanema on the map.
Bossa was nova

--Michael Dominowski

 

Arte Johnson

1929-2019

Kraut behind bushes,
Lech on a bench; he was veh-
ry in-te-resting

--Kim Ono

 

 

Lee Iococca

1924-2019

Lee Iococca:
Chrysler's K-Cars were crap but,
Thanks for the Mustang

--Kim Ono

* * *

Rescued classics then
Lady Liberty’s wardrobe.
Detroit’s last Big Wheel

--Michael Dominowski

 

 

Dr. John (Mac Rebennack)

1942-2019

Dr. John haiku?
Yeah, well, if I don't do it
Somebody else will

--Fnu Lnu

Bart Starr

1934-2019

Self-made quarterback
Led V. Lombardi to fame
And cheeseheads to swoon

--Michael Dominowski

Tim Conway

1933-2019

Adlib master heals
America’s funnybone
After instant flop

---Michael Dominowski