Celebrity Death Haiku

Anne Rice

1941-2021

Born in New Orleans
Literary vampire queen
Hot and cold with God

--Sarah Harrier

 

 

Nick Tosches

1949-2019

Cubby Selby's friend,
August I reached out to him,
But he was dying

--James M Maloney

 

 

 

Tom Wolfe

1931-2018

Had the Right Stuff for
A long time but then lost it
All in a bonfire

—O'Cyrus

 

Before the Bonfire,
Electric minds were tested.
He had the write stuff.

—Michael Dominowski

Gabriel Garcia Marquez

1927–2014

One hundred years of
solitude, and then you die.
A guy just can't win.

— Jeff Tiedrich

 

Helen Gurley Brown

1922–2012

Knew her audience
Better than they knew themselves;
Cheese for mouseburgers

— O'Cyrus

* * *

Did death tap its foot
While she finished dressing or
Roll its eyes and wait?

— Russell 1000 

Gore Vidal

1925–2012

With pen sharp and tongue
Sharper venomous Vidal
Gored all sacred cows

— E. Basil St. Blaise

 

Steven Covey

1932–2012

Seven habits of 
Highly effective people
Would include breathing

— E. Basil St. Blaise

 

Nora Ephron

1941—2012

Interned at Kennedy
White House, greeted the Beatles...
How'd she miss Woodstock?

— G. Runyon

* * *

Imagine the book
She'd have written if Jack had
Made a pass at her

— O'Cyrus

 

 

Ray Bradbury

1920–2012

Shook the pulp out of
Sci-fi making it safe for
Really Big Ideas  

— O'Cyrus

* * *

Man of the future
Who feared flying and never
Learned to drive a car

— Abbie Rhodes

 

Maurice Sendak

1928-2012

Sendak's journey ends
Now he's qualified to write
Where The Dead Things Are

-- Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

Oh grumpy wild thing,
I loved your stories and art
Sad to reach the end.

 — DeBerk

* * *

Unlike Steve Miller
Everyone called him Maurice
Not just some people

-- Jeff Tiedrich

Ronald Searle

1920–2011

Ask not for whom the
Belles of St. Trinian's toll —
They toll for Ronald

— Lairbo

 

Christopher Hitchens

1949–2011

Often made me mad.
Always made me think about
Why he'd made me mad

— Lairbo

* * *

Brilliant or blowhard?
We won't know until all of
His friends are dead, too

— Russell 1000

 

Andy Rooney

1919–2011

'Ja ever notice
How stiff and cold I've become?
Why 'ja think that is?

— Jeff Tiedrich

 * * *

Having run out of
Complaints in this life, he is
On to the next one

— Ishallah 

 

Leonard B. Stern

1923-2011

Leonard B. Stern has
[farted]. We mourn his [boner].
We will all [poop] him.

-- Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

Mad Libs, Get Smart,
And The Honeymooners, too?!
Man was a genius

-- O'Cyrus

Theodore Sorensen

1928 – 2010

Ask not what the land
Did for Sorensen, ask how
He'll enrich the soil

— Dr. Vitz

* * * 

Kennedy's wordsmith
Intellectual blood bank
Fuel on the flame

— Russell 1000

* * *

Wasn't Camelot
He said; what followed only
Made it seem that way

— Roger Rabid

 

Tony Curtis

1925 – 2010

Born a Bronx street kid
Paired with Leigh and Marilyn
Not bad, Bernard Schwartz

— Dr. Vitz

 * * *

Somehow it worked, that
Movie star face with that buzz
Saw Bronx accent

— Lairbo

 * * *

Maybe he never
Said "Yonda lies da castle..."
But we all heard it

— Roger Rabid

 

John Callahan

1951 – 2010

Didn't get far on 
Foot, but pushed every limit
There was with his pen

— Lairbo

Harvey Pekar

1939 – 2010

Wherever he is
Now, I'm sure he's complaining
About how it sucks

— Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

Very bad week for
Cleveland; first LeBron leaves, now
Harvey Pekar's dead

— Lairbo

Art Linkletter

1912 – 2010

Kids said the darndest
Things because they were told to
Say them beforehand

— Russell 1000

* * *

Genial host who
Made his guests look foolish... he'd
Fit right in today

— Lairbo

* * *

Not too surprising,
Abandoned as an infant,
He'd let kids speak out

— Meanie the Blue

* * *

Art did the darndest
Thing when his daughter died he
Blamed it on acid

— Babatjie

Dick Francis

1920 – 2010

Short guy has two long
Careers: riding, then writing
About, racehorses

— Lairbo

 

J.D. Salinger

1919 – 2010

Obituaries

Intrude on my privacy

Make them go away

— Meanie the Blue

* * * 

Will we see more

Glass now or did he decide

To take them with him

— Lairbo

* * * 

Didn't realize the 

Surest way to solitude

Is ubiquity

— Phil Valens

* * *

Only question now

Is which relative will tell

All first and for most

— Russell 1000

Howard Zinn

1922 – 2010

Debunked the Pilgrims

Made us ask whose history

Is it, anyway?

— babatjie

Claude Lévi-Strauss

1908 – 2009

No matter where he

Looked, there was human nature

Up to its old tricks

— Lairbo

* * *

Making sense of life,

He found, was mythology's

Universal truth

— Phil Valens

Irving Kristol

1920 – 2009

Counterpunched youthful 

Trotskyist leanings with a 

Hard right to the left

— Lairbo

* * *

Neocons mourning 

Spiritual godfather

Of their bastard creed

— St. Blaise

Jim Carroll

1949 – 2009

A Catholic Boy

Joins his friends who have died, died

It still beats Riker's

— Meanie the Blue