Celebrity Death Haiku

Alexander Haig

1924 – 2010

Maybe we'd have been

Better off if he'd been in 

Control at the time

— Russell 1000

Corazon Aquino

1933 – 2009

Stepped in when Marcos

Got kicked out; Philippines' first 

People-powered prez

— Lairbo

* * *

Opened the door for

Philippine democracy

It took all she had

— Russell 1000

Richard Nixon

1912 – 1994

We don't have Nixon

To kick around anymore — 

But Satan does! Ha!

— Jeff Tiedrich

Ling-Ling

1969 – 1992

Like so many who

Go to DC, she didn't

Produce anything

— Phil Valens

Ferdinand Marcos

1917 – 1989

After Ferdy's fall

Filipinos fretted, who'd 

Fill Imelda's shoes?

— St. Blaise

Leonid Brezhnev

1907 – 1982

His eyebrows alone

Might have won Cold War; lucky

Our side had Teller's

— Phil Valens

Charles DeGaulle

1890 – 1970

Hero in his own

Nation, but a pain in the

Ass to most others'

— Lairbo

 

Lee Harvey Oswald

1939 – 1963

Oswald: a riddle

Wrapped in a mystery slain

By an enigma

— St. Blaise

John Fitzgerald Kennedy

1917 – 1963

Country yanked back and

To the left by Camelot's

Sudden, violent end

— Russell 1000

Calvin Coolidge

1872 – 1933

Last President to 

Wear Indian war bonnet

And with good reason

— Lairbo

Theodore Roosevelt

1858 – 1919

Drank a gallon of 

Coffee a day. No wonder 

He got so much done

— Lairbo

George Washington

1732 – 1799

First in war, first in

Peace and first ex-president

To kick the bucket

— Lairbo