Celebrity Death Haiku

Merlin Olsen

1940 – 2010

In either outfit — 

Ram or Roman Catholic

Olsen was fearsome

— Phil Valens

Corey Haim

1971 — 2010

Hard to find your way

In or out of Hollywood 

When you're a Lost Boy

— Lairbo

* * *

Last Corey standing

Now has to go it alone

Lost Boy lost for good

— Russell 1000

Mark Linkhous

1962 – 2010

How I know I'm old:

Well-known rocker dies and I've

Never heard of him

— Jeff Tiedrich

Ronald Howes

1926 – 2010

I said it then and 

I'll say it now, it's a light

Bulb in a tin box!

— Lairbo

Alexander Haig

1924 – 2010

Maybe we'd have been

Better off if he'd been in 

Control at the time

— Russell 1000

Fran Lee

1910 – 2010

City dwellers who

Carry dog poop in a bag

Have Fran Lee to thank

— Jeff Tiedrich

Doug Fieger

1952 – 2010

Now that Fieger's gone

Expect parody death by

Weird Al Yankovich

— Jeff Tiedrich

* * * 

One-hit wonder, yeah

But such a little pretty

One, My Sharona

— Lairbo

Walter Frederick Morrison

1920 – 2010

Turned flying pie tin

Into competitive sport

For stoners with dogs

— Lairbo

* * * 

He threw a pie tin

Right into the public eye

It really took off

— Meanie the Blue

Phil Harris

1957 – 2010

Sleeps with the fishes

Now; Phil Harris makes his last,

And deadliest, catch

— Russell 1000

J.D. Salinger

1919 – 2010

Obituaries

Intrude on my privacy

Make them go away

— Meanie the Blue

* * * 

Will we see more

Glass now or did he decide

To take them with him

— Lairbo

* * * 

Didn't realize the 

Surest way to solitude

Is ubiquity

— Phil Valens

* * *

Only question now

Is which relative will tell

All first and for most

— Russell 1000

Howard Zinn

1922 – 2010

Debunked the Pilgrims

Made us ask whose history

Is it, anyway?

— babatjie

Pernell Roberts

1928 – 2010

Trapper John was bald

Adam's hair was thick; was it

A rug or acting?

— Lairbo

* * *

Left Ponderosa

In a huff, wound up in San

Fran as grouchy doc

— Russell 1000

Kate McGarrigle

1946 – 2010

My wheel-like heart, bent

Without Kate McGarrigle

No more sister act

— babatjie

* * *

Leaves us with a couple 

More Wainwrights and a wealth of

Memorable music

— Lairbo

Erich Segal

1937 – 2010

Singlehandedly

Revived four-hankie weepers

As movie genre

— Lairbo

 

* * *

Love means saying you're 

Sorry a lot, even if 

You're not sure what for

— Phil Valens

* * *

Yellow Submarine

Doesn't begin to balance

Love Story's hokum

— Lairbo

Robert B. Parker

1932 – 2010

Hired away from Spenser

Long enough to finish off

Philip Marlowe twice

— Lairbo

Glenn Bell Jr.

1923 – 2010

Did to tacos what

McD's — for better and worse —

Did to hamburgers

— Lairbo

* * *

Taco Bell founder

Gets his last order to go

First the dog, now this!

— Russell 1000

Donald Goerke

1926 – 2010

Uh-oh. The guy who

Created SpaghettiOs

Passed his sell-by date

— Lairbo

Teddy Pendergrass

1950 – 2010

Virile vocals and

Sensual lyrics crackled with

An erotic charge

— Lairbo

Miep Geis

1909 – 2010

Hid not just Anne, but 

Her cows, too. What? Diary?

Ohhhhh, that makes more sense

— Jeff Tiedrich

Art Clokey

1921 – 2009

Trippiest TV 

Around until the Kroffts went

All psychedelic

— Russell 1000

* * *

Gumby, Pokey and

Davey & Goliath? Who

The hell was this guy?

— Phil Valens

* * *

Green guy with slanted 

Head, bell-bottom legs and 

A talking horse friend?

— Lairbo

Brittany Murphy

1977 – 2009

Shooting starlet leaves

Only thin traces of a

Career that won't be

— Russell 1000

* * *

Brittany's best role

Ironically, The Dead Girl

Soon a cult classic?

— babatjie

Roy E. Disney

1930 – 2009

Huey or Louie

To Uncle Walt's Donald; a

Mini to his Mouse

— St. Blaise

Gene Barry

1919 – 2009

Fought TV bad guys

In suave, high style as both Burke

And Bat Masterson

— Lairbo

Thomas Hoving

1931 – 2009

Blockbuster showman

Hoving made those mummies dance

Tut, Tut Steve Martin

— Lairbo

Robert Degen

1905 – 2009

Shake it all about

Days are over now; he's poked

His final hokey

— Lairbo

* * *

Put his right hand in

With the rest of him; no more

Shaking all about

— Phil Valens