Celebrity Death Haiku

Richie Havens

1941–2013

Wow, what a career!
Opened at Woodstock! And ... and ....
Other stuff, I'm sure.

— Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

He had those sit down
can't cry oh lord gonna die
blues ... and now he's dead

—Babatjie

 

Annette Funicello

1942–2013

M-I-C-K-E-
Y? because Baby Boomer
boys liked your sweater

--babatjie

Roger Ebert

1942–2013

Will Gene welcome him
To heaven — watching classics
Or hell — Michael Bay?

— Dr. Vitz

* * *

A two-thumbs-up life!
See you in the balcony
I'll bring the popcorn

— O'Cyrus

 

 

Harry Reems

1947–2013

Reems was Ground Zero
For that cultural icon,
The porn star mustache

— Jeff Tiedrich

 

Bonnie Franklin

1944–2013

Divorced mom’s troubles
One daughter turns to drug use
One to Van Halen

— Dr. Vitz

 

Van Cliburn

1934-2013

Outplayed the commies
While a grateful America
Pretended to care

— Jeff Tiedrich

Dave Brubeck

1920—2012

Made a whole album
That broke the rules of meters.
Just try that in hai

— Jeff Tiedrich

 

Phyllis Diller

1917–2012

Had better plastic
Surgeon than Joan Rivers and
Funnier, to boot

— O'Cyrus

 

Marvin Hamlisch

1944–2012

Maestro's last bow — a 
Little traveling music,
Please! Roll credits

— O'Cyrus

 

Tom Davis

1952–2012

Al's second fiddle
Like too many funny men
Largely unnoticed

— Dr. Vitz

 

Steven Covey

1932–2012

Seven habits of 
Highly effective people
Would include breathing

— E. Basil St. Blaise

 

Ernest Borgnine

1917–2012

The real story of
His short marriage to Merman?
Don't know, don't want to

— G. Runyon

* * *

Convincing baddie —
Even his "good guys" seemed on
The verge of rampage

— Russell 1000

* * *

Played full width and breadth
Of his narrow range, and with
Gusto every time

— Abbie Rhodes

 

Andy Griffith

1926-2012

The sheriff? Matlock?
Will either outlive that theme
We all can whistle?

— Dr. Vitz

 

Richard Dawson

1932–2012

Way to get noticed
After years out of spot-
Light? Survey says: Death!

— O'Cyrus

 

Robin Gibb

1949–2012

Summer ends early
Then Robin cannot return
Disco’s really dead

— Dr. Vitz

* * *

Not stayin' alive
Huh huh huh huh huh huh huh
Not stayin' alive

— Jeff Tiedrich

Levon Helm

1940-2012

But they should never
Have taken the very best
Rest in peace, Levon

-- Jeff Tiedrich

Dick Clark

1929–2012

Let the last ball drop
On world's oldest teenager's
Rockin' Mid-Year's Grieve

— Jeff Tiedrich

 * * *

New Year's without Clark?
Still fun -- harder to dance to
I give it a six

-- Dr. Vitz

 

Davy Jones

1945–2012

Now Davy Jones? Jeez.
One more boyhood icon gone
I'm a bereaver

— Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

Pre-teen idol from
Pre-fab foursome
Croaks prematurely

— Russell 1000

* * *

Pop music sweetheart
Just when "sour" became the
Flavor of the month

— Lairbo

 * * *

Mock at your peril;
Stephen Stills auditioned
For the Monkees gig

— Abby Rhodes

 

Whitney Houston

1963–2012

A powerful voice
Gone silent much too early
Oh – hell to the no!

— Dr. Vitz

 * * *

Not nearly enough
Bodyguards to protect her
From her own worst self

— Philco

* * *

Hope that she will be
Remembered for her talent —
Not for the trainwreck

— Inshallah

 

Robert Hegyes

1951–2011

Dear Mr. Kotter
Robert's career is absent
Signed Epstein's Mother

— Dr. Vitz

 

Cheetah

19??–2011

Chimp Cheetah played fair
Flinging feces at bad guys,
Not Tarzan and Jane

— Basil St. Blaise

* * * 

Noble Cheetah slipped
On Big Banana Peel, joins
Johnny Weismuller

— Basil St. Blaise

* * *

 

 

Harry Morgan

1915-2011

Cowpoke to colonel
Cop in between; looked 50
For as many years

-- Abbie Rhodes

 

Andy Rooney

1919–2011

'Ja ever notice
How stiff and cold I've become?
Why 'ja think that is?

— Jeff Tiedrich

 * * *

Having run out of
Complaints in this life, he is
On to the next one

— Ishallah 

 

Bubba Smith

1945–2011

Gentle giant off
The field; on the gridiron,
Not so much "gentle"

— Roger Rabid

 

Amy Winehouse

1983–2011

Hey Amy Winehouse — 
That "won't go to rehab" thing,
How did that work out?

— Jeff Tiedrich

 * * *

Cautionary tale:
When they say "go to rehab"
Don't say "no no no"  

— Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

Perhaps what's saddest
About this untimely death
Is that no one's shocked

— Inshallah