Celebrity Death Haiku

Whitney Houston

1963–2012

A powerful voice
Gone silent much too early
Oh – hell to the no!

— Dr. Vitz

 * * *

Not nearly enough
Bodyguards to protect her
From her own worst self

— Philco

* * *

Hope that she will be
Remembered for her talent —
Not for the trainwreck

— Inshallah

 

Amy Winehouse

1983–2011

Hey Amy Winehouse — 
That "won't go to rehab" thing,
How did that work out?

— Jeff Tiedrich

 * * *

Cautionary tale:
When they say "go to rehab"
Don't say "no no no"  

— Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

Perhaps what's saddest
About this untimely death
Is that no one's shocked

— Inshallah 

Clarence Clemons

1942-2011

You can't imagine
Born to Run without sax break?
Now it's easier

Dr. Vitz

 

Suze Rotolo

1943–2011

Brushed off her brush with
Someone else's fame, alright
She didn't look back

— Lairbo

 

John Barry

1933 – 2011

Nobody did it
Better (music to spy by)
Barry, John Barry

— Lairbo

 

Don Kirshner

1934 – 2011

Sullivan in a
Leisure suit, only stiffer
And never blinking

— Lairbo

* * *

Impresario
For bubblegum and rock stars
But kept nerdy style

— Dr. Vitz

 

Gerry Rafferty

1947 – 2011

He leaves Baker Street
Rafferty starts afterlife
Stuck in the middle?

— Dr. Vitz

* * *

Dirt to the left of
Me, dirt to the right, stuck in
A coffin with you

— Jeff Tiedrich

 

 

 

Don "Captain Beefheart" Van Vliet

1941 – 2010

Van Vliet was a fraud!
First, he lied about his rank.
And his heart? Human.

— Jeff Tiedrich

Eddie Fisher

1928 – 2010

Left Debbie for Liz
To be left for Dick Burton
But left us Leia

— Dr. Vitz

* * *

Crooner in the age
Of rock and roll's ascension
Missed it by that much

— Lairbo

* * *

Career blown to bits
By Elvis, private life shot
To hell by himself

— O'Cyrus

* * *

When she married him
Liz was just getting warmed up
Four down, four to go

— Lairbo

* * *

Couldn't compete with
Elvis or Sinatra, but still
Got around plenty

— Russell 1000

Leonard Skinner

1933 – 2010

"You kids need haircuts!"
Said gym coach Leonard Skinner
And a band was born

— Jeff Tiedrich

Mitch Miller

1911 – 2010

At some point we've all
Sung along with him, whether
We knew it or not

— Phil Valens

* * *

With hipster's goatee
And that bouncing ball, Mitch got
Us to sing along

— Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

Now that Mitch has marched
Be Kind to Your Web Footed Friends
Shall be his glory

— Babatjie

Jimmy Dean

1928 – 2010

Realized people would
Pay more for country sausage
Than country music

— Lairbo

Lena Horne

1917 – 2010

Showstopper on stage

Trailblazer everywhere else

Weathered many storms

— Lairbo

* * *

Her Stormy Weather

Made smooth and sweet by voice and

Not looking too black

— Dr. Vitz

Dixie Carter

1939 – 2010

Designing woman

Or desperate housewife; a

Steely southern belle

— O'Cyrus

Meinhardt Raabe

1915 – 2010

He isn't only 

Merely dead; no, he's really

Most sincerely dead

— Lairbo

Malcolm McLaren

1946 – 2010

Malcolm McLaren

Probably would have claimed he

Invented death, too

— Jeff Tiedrich

June Havoc

1912 – 2010

Outshined onstage by 

Stripper sister and off by

Stage mother from hell

— Lairbo

* * *

Stage mom wreaked Havoc

On kids; June took off, Rose 

Stayed, took it all off

—  O'Cyrus

Alex Chilton

1950 – 2010

Chilton didn't write

The Letter, but delivered 

It memorably

— Lairbo

Mark Linkhous

1962 – 2010

How I know I'm old:

Well-known rocker dies and I've

Never heard of him

— Jeff Tiedrich

Doug Fieger

1952 – 2010

Now that Fieger's gone

Expect parody death by

Weird Al Yankovich

— Jeff Tiedrich

* * * 

One-hit wonder, yeah

But such a little pretty

One, My Sharona

— Lairbo

Kate McGarrigle

1946 – 2010

My wheel-like heart, bent

Without Kate McGarrigle

No more sister act

— babatjie

* * *

Leaves us with a couple 

More Wainwrights and a wealth of

Memorable music

— Lairbo

Teddy Pendergrass

1950 – 2010

Virile vocals and

Sensual lyrics crackled with

An erotic charge

— Lairbo

Robert Degen

1905 – 2009

Shake it all about

Days are over now; he's poked

His final hokey

— Lairbo

* * *

Put his right hand in

With the rest of him; no more

Shaking all about

— Phil Valens

Vic Mizzy

1916 – 2009

TV theme tunesmith

Scores big using finger snaps

And a harpsichord

— Lairbo

Dickie Peterson

1948 – 2009

Ain't no cure for the

Summertime blues. Oh yeah, and

Liver cancer, too

— Jeff Tiedrich