Celebrity Death Haiku

Dick Francis

1920 – 2010

Short guy has two long
Careers: riding, then writing
About, racehorses

— Lairbo

 

Frank McCourt

1930 – 2009

Wrote masterpiece while
Teaching those with no use for 
It proper grammar

— O'Cyrus

Paul Harvey

1918 — 2009

Good day, Paul Harvey

That's the end of that story

Longest pause of all

— Lairbo

Eartha Kitt

1927 – 2008

Purr for me, baby

Catwoman uses up all

Nine lives and then some

— Phil Valens

Bettie Page

1923 – 2008

Kitten with a whip

You prefer handcuffs and rope?

Your wish, her command

— Lairbo

Michael Crichton

1942 – 2008

Very tall teller

Of even taller tales 'bout

Dinosaurs gone wild

— Lairbo

Studs Terkel

1912 – 2008

Helluva talker

Even better listener

Luckily for us

— Lairbo

 

Mr. Blackwell

1922 – 2008

Died (we only hope)

Wearing something that wouldn't

Have mortified him

— Lairbo

 

Don LaFontaine

1940 – 2008

In a world full of 
Announcers, only one could
Be Don LaFontaine

— Lairbo

Yves Saint Laurent

1936 – 2008

Despite all he did

What we remember most are

Those giant glasses

— Lairbo

Saddam Hussein

1937 – 2006

Everything you want
In a loony dictator
Except WMD

— Russell 1000

 

Red Auerbach

1917 – 2006

Color-blind coaching,

Fast breaks and trash talk made him

Celtics' seventh man

— Phil Valens

Ann Richards

1933 – 2006

Seeing that beehive
Y'all ready to order, hon's
What you thought she'd say

— Lairbo

Bruno Kirby

1949–2006

First choice as second
Banana — lead couldn't ask
For better best friend

— Phil Deblanc

 

Darren McGavin

1922 – 2006

Lover of leg lamps

He later stalked vampires in

Las Vegas by night

—  Lairbo

Myron Floren

1919 – 2005

Squeezebox master played
Second fiddle to guy who 
Blew champagne bubbles

— Lairbo

Eddie Albert

1906 – 2005

He wanted to get
Back to the land and now he's
Six feet under it

— O'Cyrus

Frank Perdue

1920 – 2005

Made his the name you

Trust for chicken; likely the

Only one you know

— Lairbo

* * *

Tough man made chickens

Tender; and you really do

Not wanna know how

— O'Cyrus

Mitch Hedberg

1968 – 2005

Funny enough if

You hadn't seen Steven

Wright doing it first

— Russell 1000

Johnny Cochran

1937 – 2005

If the coffin fits

He must be in it; there's a

Final argument

— O'Cyrus

Johnny Carson

1920 – 2005

Didn't know it then

But he took The Tonight Show

With him when he left

— Lairbo

Francis Crick

1916 – 2004

Even a crackpot 
Gets it right and a Nobel
Prize for it, sometimes

— O'Cyrus

Alistaire Cooke

1908 – 2004

From a fireside

Wing chair, he explained us to

Brits and vice versa

— Lairbo

Charles Bronson

1921 – 2003

Squinted at sunlight
Also squinted at darkness
Squinter nonpareil

— Russell 1000

* * * 

Shoulda said yes to 
Sergio sooner; coulda
Skipped Death Wish 4, 5

— Lairbo

Katherine Hepburn

1907 – 2003

Mike got it right on 
The nose: "Not much meat on her,
But what's there is cherce"

 — Lairbo