Celebrity Death Haiku

Helen Gurley Brown

1922–2012

Knew her audience
Better than they knew themselves;
Cheese for mouseburgers

— O'Cyrus

* * *

Did death tap its foot
While she finished dressing or
Roll its eyes and wait?

— Russell 1000 

Robert Hughes

1938–2012

The shock of the news
Critics pale, art lovers will
Miss his tints, and Hughes

— E. Basil St. Blaise

Gore Vidal

1925–2012

With pen sharp and tongue
Sharper venomous Vidal
Gored all sacred cows

— E. Basil St. Blaise

 

Nora Ephron

1941—2012

Interned at Kennedy
White House, greeted the Beatles...
How'd she miss Woodstock?

— G. Runyon

* * *

Imagine the book
She'd have written if Jack had
Made a pass at her

— O'Cyrus

 

 

Ray Bradbury

1920–2012

Shook the pulp out of
Sci-fi making it safe for
Really Big Ideas  

— O'Cyrus

* * *

Man of the future
Who feared flying and never
Learned to drive a car

— Abbie Rhodes

 

Maurice Sendak

1928-2012

Sendak's journey ends
Now he's qualified to write
Where The Dead Things Are

-- Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

Oh grumpy wild thing,
I loved your stories and art
Sad to reach the end.

 — DeBerk

* * *

Unlike Steve Miller
Everyone called him Maurice
Not just some people

-- Jeff Tiedrich

Christopher Hitchens

1949–2011

Often made me mad.
Always made me think about
Why he'd made me mad

— Lairbo

* * *

Brilliant or blowhard?
We won't know until all of
His friends are dead, too

— Russell 1000

 

Leonard B. Stern

1923-2011

Leonard B. Stern has
[farted]. We mourn his [boner].
We will all [poop] him.

-- Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

Mad Libs, Get Smart,
And The Honeymooners, too?!
Man was a genius

-- O'Cyrus

Elaine Kaufman

1929 – 2010

Ran NYC den
That pampered the famous while
Tourists ate in back

— Dr. Vitz

 

John Callahan

1951 – 2010

Didn't get far on 
Foot, but pushed every limit
There was with his pen

— Lairbo

Tuli Kupferberg

1923 – 2010

One of the first Beats
His luck to outlive them all
And die unnoticed

— Jeff Tiedrich

Harvey Pekar

1939 – 2010

Wherever he is
Now, I'm sure he's complaining
About how it sucks

— Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

Very bad week for
Cleveland; first LeBron leaves, now
Harvey Pekar's dead

— Lairbo

J.D. Salinger

1919 – 2010

Obituaries

Intrude on my privacy

Make them go away

— Meanie the Blue

* * * 

Will we see more

Glass now or did he decide

To take them with him

— Lairbo

* * * 

Didn't realize the 

Surest way to solitude

Is ubiquity

— Phil Valens

* * *

Only question now

Is which relative will tell

All first and for most

— Russell 1000

Howard Zinn

1922 – 2010

Debunked the Pilgrims

Made us ask whose history

Is it, anyway?

— babatjie

Erich Segal

1937 – 2010

Singlehandedly

Revived four-hankie weepers

As movie genre

— Lairbo

 

* * *

Love means saying you're 

Sorry a lot, even if 

You're not sure what for

— Phil Valens

* * *

Yellow Submarine

Doesn't begin to balance

Love Story's hokum

— Lairbo

Robert B. Parker

1932 – 2010

Hired away from Spenser

Long enough to finish off

Philip Marlowe twice

— Lairbo

Jim Carroll

1949 – 2009

A Catholic Boy

Joins his friends who have died, died

It still beats Riker's

— Meanie the Blue

Dominick Dunne

1925 – 2009

Lived in the shadow

Of John Gregory, then died

In Ted Kennedy's

— Lairbo

* * * 

As Farrah's death was 

To Jacko's, Dominick Dunne's

Was to Kennedy's

— Phil Valens

Frank McCourt

1930 – 2009

Wrote masterpiece while
Teaching those with no use for 
It proper grammar

— O'Cyrus

Frank McCourt

1930 – 2009

Survived Limerick's

Misery and made of it

Such beautiful prose

— Lairbo

* * * 

New York school system

Had a brilliant gem within

Debt can't be repaid

— Meanie the Blue

Marilyn French

1929 – 2009

When she wrote, men fled

And sisters read. Ms. French made

Room for women's lib

— PK

John Updike

1932 – 2009

Can anyone name

Three non-Rabbit books he wrote?

I didn't think so 

—Lairbo

* * *

Of all his Rabbit books

Watership Down is my fave...

What? That wasn't him?

—Russell 1000

Michael Crichton

1942 – 2008

Very tall teller

Of even taller tales 'bout

Dinosaurs gone wild

— Lairbo

Studs Terkel

1912 – 2008

Helluva talker

Even better listener

Luckily for us

— Lairbo

 

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

1918 – 2008

Solzhenitsyn's name

Barely fits onto one line;

Problem for haiku

— Lairbo

* * *

Bitched about Russia;

Bitched about the west; heaven or

Hell's in for it now

— Lairbo