Celebrity Death Haiku

Christopher Hitchens

1949–2011

Often made me mad.
Always made me think about
Why he'd made me mad

— Lairbo

* * *

Brilliant or blowhard?
We won't know until all of
His friends are dead, too

— Russell 1000

 

Bil Keane

1921–2011

Dotted line showing 
Bil’s tortuous pathway home 
Just got new end point

— Dr. Vitz

 

Andy Rooney

1919–2011

'Ja ever notice
How stiff and cold I've become?
Why 'ja think that is?

— Jeff Tiedrich

 * * *

Having run out of
Complaints in this life, he is
On to the next one

— Ishallah 

 

Don Meredith

1938 – 2010

The party's really
Over for the Dandy Don, 
So turn out the lights

— Russell 1000

* * *

Between the brains and
The bore, Dandy Don was the
Booth's regular guy

— Roger Rabbid

 

Elaine Kaufman

1929 – 2010

Ran NYC den
That pampered the famous while
Tourists ate in back

— Dr. Vitz

 

Theodore Sorensen

1928 – 2010

Ask not what the land
Did for Sorensen, ask how
He'll enrich the soil

— Dr. Vitz

* * * 

Kennedy's wordsmith
Intellectual blood bank
Fuel on the flame

— Russell 1000

* * *

Wasn't Camelot
He said; what followed only
Made it seem that way

— Roger Rabid

 

Ted Stevens

1923 – 2010

Is afterlife bridge
To nowhere or a series 
Of tubes? Now he knows

— Roger Rabid

John Callahan

1951 – 2010

Didn't get far on 
Foot, but pushed every limit
There was with his pen

— Lairbo

Daniel Schorr

1916 – 2010

Pissed off Krushchev then
Wound up on Nixon's shit list.
Now, there's your headline

— Lairbo

* * * 

Late of CBS,
CNN and NPR;
Now just flat out late

— Roger Rabid

Ralph Snodsmith

1939 – 2010

"First-time caller, love

Your show. Ralph, what's the best way

To push up daisies?"

— Jeff Tiedrich

Howard Zinn

1922 – 2010

Debunked the Pilgrims

Made us ask whose history

Is it, anyway?

— babatjie

William Safire

1929 – 2009

A man of the Times

Nixed negative nattering

Yet nabobs loved him

— Russell 1000

* * *

Lexicographic 

Irregulars bow their heads

The Squad Squad bows twice

— Meanie the Blue

* * *

William Safire

Now nattering nabob of

Decomposition

 — Jeff Tiedrich

Army Archerd

1922 – 2009

Bev Hills, Nate 'n' Al's:

Army dug pastrami, dished

Lots of baloney

 — St. Blaise

* * *

For better and worse

He squinted past glamour and

Told us what was there

— Russell 1000

Dominick Dunne

1925 – 2009

Lived in the shadow

Of John Gregory, then died

In Ted Kennedy's

— Lairbo

* * * 

As Farrah's death was 

To Jacko's, Dominick Dunne's

Was to Kennedy's

— Phil Valens

Don Hewitt

1931 – 2009

It's starting to look

Like Andy Rooney's gonna

Outlive all of them

— Lairbo

Robert Novak

1931 – 2009

Robert Novak's death

Makes me ask; when Satan dies,

Where does he end up?

— Jeff Tiedrich

Walter Cronkite

1916 – 2009

Uncle Walter's gone

The way it is is no more

Rather he'd stayed on

— Lairbo

* * *

Trusted the viewers

To have clues and half a brain

Won't see that again

 — Russell 1000

Marilyn French

1929 – 2009

When she wrote, men fled

And sisters read. Ms. French made

Room for women's lib

— PK

Paul Harvey

1918 — 2009

Good day, Paul Harvey

That's the end of that story

Longest pause of all

— Lairbo

John Updike

1932 – 2009

Can anyone name

Three non-Rabbit books he wrote?

I didn't think so 

—Lairbo

* * *

Of all his Rabbit books

Watership Down is my fave...

What? That wasn't him?

—Russell 1000

Mark "Deep Throat" Felt

1913 – 2008

Did a lot of good

For mostly the wrong reasons

Then kept his mouth shut

— Lairbo

* * * 

Mark Felt was Deep Throat

Woodward, Bernstein await call

On God's cover-ups

— Adrian M. Johnson

Studs Terkel

1912 – 2008

Helluva talker

Even better listener

Luckily for us

— Lairbo

 

William F. Buckley

1925 – 2008

Now, from way up there
We look even tinier
Than he thought we were

— Lairbo

* * *

Not enough lines here
To quote the late Bill Buckley
Too many big words

— Jakalu

Tom Snyder

1936 – 2007

In Tomorrow-land
Swirling smoke fills the air while
Colortinis chill

— Lairbo

Johnny Hart

1931 – 2007

Cartoon cavemen weep
Their creator is kaput
Stare at moon in grief

— Lairbo