Celebrity Death Haiku

Fess Parker

1924 – 2010

Think he ever felt

Bad about all those raccoons

That wound up as hats?

— Lairbo

Alexander Haig

1924 – 2010

Maybe we'd have been

Better off if he'd been in 

Control at the time

— Russell 1000

Fran Lee

1910 – 2010

City dwellers who

Carry dog poop in a bag

Have Fran Lee to thank

— Jeff Tiedrich

Walter Frederick Morrison

1920 – 2010

Turned flying pie tin

Into competitive sport

For stoners with dogs

— Lairbo

* * * 

He threw a pie tin

Right into the public eye

It really took off

— Meanie the Blue

Howard Zinn

1922 – 2010

Debunked the Pilgrims

Made us ask whose history

Is it, anyway?

— babatjie

Erich Segal

1937 – 2010

Singlehandedly

Revived four-hankie weepers

As movie genre

— Lairbo

 

* * *

Love means saying you're 

Sorry a lot, even if 

You're not sure what for

— Phil Valens

* * *

Yellow Submarine

Doesn't begin to balance

Love Story's hokum

— Lairbo

Miep Geis

1909 – 2010

Hid not just Anne, but 

Her cows, too. What? Diary?

Ohhhhh, that makes more sense

— Jeff Tiedrich

Roy E. Disney

1930 – 2009

Huey or Louie

To Uncle Walt's Donald; a

Mini to his Mouse

— St. Blaise

Claude Lévi-Strauss

1908 – 2009

No matter where he

Looked, there was human nature

Up to its old tricks

— Lairbo

* * *

Making sense of life,

He found, was mythology's

Universal truth

— Phil Valens

Lucy (in the Sky with Diamonds) O'Donnell Vodden

1962 – 2009

"Julian drew it..."

I always thought that was John

Covering his ass

— Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

Picture yourself in

A boat on a river — it

Sure beats a coffin

— Jeff Tiedrich

William Safire

1929 – 2009

A man of the Times

Nixed negative nattering

Yet nabobs loved him

— Russell 1000

* * *

Lexicographic 

Irregulars bow their heads

The Squad Squad bows twice

— Meanie the Blue

* * *

William Safire

Now nattering nabob of

Decomposition

 — Jeff Tiedrich

Robert McNamara

1916 – 2009

Bob McNamara

Years later, regretted war

Forgive him? Fuck that!

— Jeff Tiedrich

* * * 

Against the Edsel

But for the Vietnam War

Better luck next life

— Russell 1000

* * *

The stooped man looks up.

Counting the dead. Such numbers.

The heart is too late.

— PK

* * *

What's that you're saying?

Heck, no, I didn't just die!

I'm winning, I swear

— Meanie the Blue

Mickey Mantle

1931 – 1995

Played hard and drank hard

A legend in his own time

And ever after

— Phil Valens

Richard Nixon

1912 – 1994

We don't have Nixon

To kick around anymore — 

But Satan does! Ha!

— Jeff Tiedrich

Ling-Ling

1969 – 1992

Like so many who

Go to DC, she didn't

Produce anything

— Phil Valens

Keith Haring

1958 – 1990

Subway graffitist

To pop art icon; did he

Sell out or buy in?

— Russell 1000

Ferdinand Marcos

1917 – 1989

After Ferdy's fall

Filipinos fretted, who'd 

Fill Imelda's shoes?

— St. Blaise

Irving Berlin

1888 – 1989

Wrote more hit songs than

Gershwin, Cole Porter and Neil

Sadaka combined

— Russell 1000

* * *

Didn't leave much room

In American songbook 

For anyone else

— Lairbo

Francois Truffaut

1932 – 1984

Best film was about 

Making a lousy movie

Himself at the helm

— Lairbo

* * *

Gushed about Hitchcock

But his true French heart belonged

To Monsieur Jerry

— Phil Valens

Ray Kroc

1902 – 1984

Grew big business

And customers' waistlines with

Lots of small burgers

— Lairbo

Tennessee Williams

1911 – 1983

Did pretty well by

Relying on the kindness

Of audiences

— Lairbo

Leonid Brezhnev

1907 – 1982

His eyebrows alone

Might have won Cold War; lucky

Our side had Teller's

— Phil Valens

Ayn Rand

1906 – 1982

Hack philosopher,

Libertarian heart-throb,

Neocon pin-up

— Lairbo

John Lennon

1940 – 1980

Imagine that there's

No John Lennon, not easy

Even if you try

— St. Blaise

John Lennon

1940 – 1980

Imagine that there's 

No John Lennon, not easy

Even if you try

— St. Blaise