Celebrity Death Haiku

Van Cliburn

1934-2013

Outplayed the commies
While a grateful America
Pretended to care

— Jeff Tiedrich

Arlen Specter

1930–2012

Soughtt magic bullet.
Why change affiliation?
Sought magic ballots.

— Dr. Vitz

 

Neil Armstrong

1930–2012

Did he ever, on 
A moonlit night, glance up, wink
And say, 'Hi, gorgeous'

— O'Cyrus

* * *

Buzz watched from behind
As once again Neil was first
To take giant leap

— Dr. Vitz 

Sally Ride

1951–2012

All she wants to do 
Is rocket 'round the world
Now bye, Sally Ride

— Dr. Vitz

 

Mike Wallace

1918–2012

Flash of pearly whites
A gentle "Forgive me, but..."
He went for the kill

— Russell 1000

* * *

How did anyone
Hiding something think that
They could outwit him?

— O'Cyrus

 

Muammar Gaddafi

1942 – 2011

Spell it "Gadhafi",
"Qaddafi" or "Khadafy",
He's "khasualty" now

— Russell 1000

 

Milton M. Levine

1913 – 2011

Proved baby boomers
Will watch anything on a
Glass rectangle

— Lairbo

 

Sargent Shriver

1915 – 2011

Camelot in-law
Did the heavy lifting of
Public servitude

— Russell 1000

 

Theodore Sorensen

1928 – 2010

Ask not what the land
Did for Sorensen, ask how
He'll enrich the soil

— Dr. Vitz

* * * 

Kennedy's wordsmith
Intellectual blood bank
Fuel on the flame

— Russell 1000

* * *

Wasn't Camelot
He said; what followed only
Made it seem that way

— Roger Rabid

 

Bob Guccione

1930 – 2010

Playboy philosophy
Obsoleted by Penthouse
Gynecology

— Jeff Tiedrich

* * * 

Vanessa Williams 
Totally owes her career
To that photo shoot

— Inshallah

* * * 

Nobody ever
Pretended to read Penthouse
For the articles

— Russell 1000

* * *

Created forum
About sex for those with no
Imagination

— P.J. Guillemot

* * *
Penthouse to outhouse
Gooch's goo-goo eyes could make
Caligula blush

— St. Blaise

* * *

Dear Penthouse Forum
Never thought heaven was real
Might be when Bob comes

— Dr. Vitz

 

 

 

Barbara Billingsley

1915 — 2010

For all her worry
'Bout Beaver, she never seemed
All that desperate

— Abbie Rhodes

* * *

Only wore heels, it
Turns out, to stay taller than
Wally and the Beav

— Lairbo

 * * *

June Cleaver wore pearls
The standard for TV moms
No more cookies, Beav

— Susan J. Weiand

 * * *

Gee Mrs. Cleaver
Can Wally and the Beav play?
I mean cause you're dead

— Dr. Vitz

 

Art Gilmore

1912 – 2010

Ever-present voice
Of radio, movies and
The Highway Patrol

— Lairbo

 

Gloria Stuart

1910 – 2010

She saw plenty in
Hollywood, including an
Invisible Man

— Lairbo

* * *

Her Titanic role
Was a just tip of  the old
Iceberg for grande dame

— Elkay

Bobby Thomson

1923 – 2010

One swing of the bat
The Giants win the pennant!
Brooklyn dies some more

— Ira Heller

Ted Stevens

1923 – 2010

Is afterlife bridge
To nowhere or a series 
Of tubes? Now he knows

— Roger Rabid

Patricia Neal

1926 – 2010

More than just a face
In the crowd and, more often
Than not, in harm's way

— Philco

* * *

Tough on the outside
But vulnerable within
Thinking man's Crawford

— Jeff Tiedrich

Daniel Schorr

1916 – 2010

Pissed off Krushchev then
Wound up on Nixon's shit list.
Now, there's your headline

— Lairbo

* * * 

Late of CBS,
CNN and NPR;
Now just flat out late

— Roger Rabid

Ralph Houk

1919 – 2010

Boyhood memory:
Dad yells at TV, cursing
Houk's last-place Yankees

— Jeff Tiedrich

Tuli Kupferberg

1923 – 2010

One of the first Beats
His luck to outlive them all
And die unnoticed

— Jeff Tiedrich

Bob Sheppard

1910 – 2010

Introduced them all,
Superstar, scrub or rookie,
With stately respect

— Meanie the Blue

* * *

Up from the minors
Now batting for the Angels...
*Standing ovation*

— Meanie the Blue

Robert Byrd

1917 – 2010

Byrd served the longest
National charter in hand
And pork in pocket

— Dr. Vitz

*** 

Often voted with
The losing side but always
Brought home the bacon

— Russell 1000

* * *

Admitted being
Wrong when he had been and stood
Firm when he was right

— Roger Rabid

John Wooden

1910 – 2010

Wizard of Westwood's
Final buzzer sounds on college
Hoops' winningest coach

— Phil Valens

Dennnis Hopper

1936 – 2010

Outlaw or outcast
His madness was all Method
Except the drugs part

— Lairbo

* * *

Almost always cast
To play some psycho. My guess:
He wasn't acting

— Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

James Dean wannabee
Easy Rode mostly downhill
But had his moments

— Babatjie

* * *

Easy riding man
Finally hits the highway
Wonder if he knows

— Meanie the Blue

* * *

His career's wild ride 
Through Hollywood wasn't so
Easy after all

— Roger Rabid

Lena Horne

1917 – 2010

Showstopper on stage

Trailblazer everywhere else

Weathered many storms

— Lairbo

* * *

Her Stormy Weather

Made smooth and sweet by voice and

Not looking too black

— Dr. Vitz

Leslie Buck

1922 – 2010

Cops, commuters and

Kvetches drank from his icon

It was Greek to us

— Lairbo

* * *

Only character

That's been with Law & Order

Since the beginning

— O'Cyrus

* * *

Iconic cup for 

Regular joes on the go

The anti Starbuck

— Russell 1000