Celebrity Death Haiku

Whitney Houston

1963–2012

A powerful voice
Gone silent much too early
Oh – hell to the no!

— Dr. Vitz

 * * *

Not nearly enough
Bodyguards to protect her
From her own worst self

— Philco

* * *

Hope that she will be
Remembered for her talent —
Not for the trainwreck

— Inshallah

 

Cheetah

19??–2011

Chimp Cheetah played fair
Flinging feces at bad guys,
Not Tarzan and Jane

— Basil St. Blaise

* * * 

Noble Cheetah slipped
On Big Banana Peel, joins
Johnny Weismuller

— Basil St. Blaise

* * *

 

 

Harry Morgan

1915-2011

Cowpoke to colonel
Cop in between; looked 50
For as many years

-- Abbie Rhodes

 

Kenneth Russell

1927-2011

After Russell's films --
Stylishly excessive porn
He finds heaven bland

-- Dr. Vitz

Bubba Smith

1945–2011

Gentle giant off
The field; on the gridiron,
Not so much "gentle"

— Roger Rabid

 

Peter Falk

1927-2011

I guess the Reaper
Wasn't taken in by that
"One more question" ruse

-- Jeff Tiedrich

Jackie Cooper

1922–2011

No matter what he 
Showed up in, you were always
Happy to see him

— Lairbo

 

Elizabeth Taylor

1932 - 2011

Many husbands and
Violet eyes we'd die for...
If she hadn't first 

-- Dr. Vitz

* * *

And you think you have
A hard time remembering
Anniversaries

-- Loren Ipsum

* * *

Her beauty upstaged
Her talent, her marriages
Overshadowed both

-- Roger Rabbid

 * * *

Hilton, Wilding, Todd
Fisher, Burton and Burton,
Warner, Fortensky

— Lairbo

 

Jane Russell

1921–2011

Full figured outlaw
That gentlemen preferred more
Than any old blonde

— Dr. Vitz

 

Kenneth Mars

1936 – 2011

A funeral is 
An ugly think, und, I think
It's time to have mine

— Roger Rabid

 

Maria Schneider

1952 – 2011

Best known for getting
Buttered up by Brando for
That one last tango

— Russell 1000

John Barry

1933 – 2011

Nobody did it
Better (music to spy by)
Barry, John Barry

— Lairbo

 

Susannah York

1939 – 2011

Major reason that
Women with British accents
Always get me hot

— Roger Rabid

 

David Nelson

1936 – 2011

Trying to picture
Him, all I see is Wally,
Beav's older brother

— Roger Rabid

* * *

Why David Nelson?
'Cause every family
Needs its own Zeppo

— Jeff Tiedrich

 

Peter Yates

1929 – 2011

Yates had us watching
Bullitt in San Fran streets and
Bisset in towel

— Dr. Vitz

* * *

Tony Bennett left
His heart in San Francisco.
Peter Yates? Skidmarks

— Roger Rabid

 

Anne Francis

1930 – 2011

If my own daughter
Dressed like that, you bet there'd be
Monsters from the id

— Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

Robby the robot
Mourns the loss of Honey West
Sexy mole is gone

— Susan J Weind

 

Pete Postlethwaite

1946 – 2011

Postlethwaite's gone, and
Only now, to serve this site
I learn to spell it

— Jeff Tiedrich

 

Blake Edwards

1922 – 2010

Never read a script
That couldn't be improved by
Adding a pie fight

— Lairbo

 

Leslie Nielsen

1926 – 2010

Made Airplane take off
In a pre-TSA world
Can't call him Shirley

— Meanie the Blue

 

Jill Clayburgh

1944 – 2010

Always played women
On the verge of something and
Nervous about it

— Lairbo

 

James MacArthur

1937 – 2010

McGarret got car
Chases, fisticuffs; Danno
Got the paperwork

— Lairbo

* * *

Can now roll over
In grave at lame remake of
Hawaii 5-0 

— Roger Rabid

 

Tom Bosley

1927 – 2010

Yo, Mr. C, your
Daughter just ran off with my
Greasy nephew, ayyyyyyy!  

— Roger Rabid

* * *

Fatherly to Fonz
And Dowling's flock; inept
Cop in Cabot Cove

— Abbie Rhodes

* * *

His poor police work 
Kept Jessica Fletcher in
Business for years 

— Russell 1000

* * *

Farther from Happy 
Days now than Happy Days was
Then from The Waltons 

— O'Cyrus

 

Barbara Billingsley

1915 — 2010

For all her worry
'Bout Beaver, she never seemed
All that desperate

— Abbie Rhodes

* * *

Only wore heels, it
Turns out, to stay taller than
Wally and the Beav

— Lairbo

 * * *

June Cleaver wore pearls
The standard for TV moms
No more cookies, Beav

— Susan J. Weiand

 * * *

Gee Mrs. Cleaver
Can Wally and the Beav play?
I mean cause you're dead

— Dr. Vitz

 

Joe Mantell

1916 – 2010

In a long career
Of small roles, he got two of
The best lines ever!

— Lairbo

 

Tony Curtis

1925 – 2010

Born a Bronx street kid
Paired with Leigh and Marilyn
Not bad, Bernard Schwartz

— Dr. Vitz

 * * *

Somehow it worked, that
Movie star face with that buzz
Saw Bronx accent

— Lairbo

 * * *

Maybe he never
Said "Yonda lies da castle..."
But we all heard it

— Roger Rabid