Celebrity Death Haiku

Richie Havens

1941–2013

Wow, what a career!
Opened at Woodstock! And ... and ....
Other stuff, I'm sure.

— Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

He had those sit down
can't cry oh lord gonna die
blues ... and now he's dead

—Babatjie

 

Storm Thorgerson

1944–2013

Took a pyramid
Sent prismatic bands through it
Colored our heartbeats

— Dr. Vitz

 

Annette Funicello

1942–2013

M-I-C-K-E-
Y? because Baby Boomer
boys liked your sweater

--babatjie

Roger Ebert

1942–2013

Will Gene welcome him
To heaven — watching classics
Or hell — Michael Bay?

— Dr. Vitz

* * *

A two-thumbs-up life!
See you in the balcony
I'll bring the popcorn

— O'Cyrus

 

 

Harry Reems

1947–2013

Reems was Ground Zero
For that cultural icon,
The porn star mustache

— Jeff Tiedrich

 

Van Cliburn

1934-2013

Outplayed the commies
While a grateful America
Pretended to care

— Jeff Tiedrich

Neil Armstrong

1930–2012

Did he ever, on 
A moonlit night, glance up, wink
And say, 'Hi, gorgeous'

— O'Cyrus

* * *

Buzz watched from behind
As once again Neil was first
To take giant leap

— Dr. Vitz 

Phyllis Diller

1917–2012

Had better plastic
Surgeon than Joan Rivers and
Funnier, to boot

— O'Cyrus

 

Helen Gurley Brown

1922–2012

Knew her audience
Better than they knew themselves;
Cheese for mouseburgers

— O'Cyrus

* * *

Did death tap its foot
While she finished dressing or
Roll its eyes and wait?

— Russell 1000 

Tom Davis

1952–2012

Al's second fiddle
Like too many funny men
Largely unnoticed

— Dr. Vitz

 

Andy Griffith

1926-2012

The sheriff? Matlock?
Will either outlive that theme
We all can whistle?

— Dr. Vitz

 

Nora Ephron

1941—2012

Interned at Kennedy
White House, greeted the Beatles...
How'd she miss Woodstock?

— G. Runyon

* * *

Imagine the book
She'd have written if Jack had
Made a pass at her

— O'Cyrus

 

 

LeRoy Neiman

1921—2012

His true artistry
Was the way he lived; and, yeah
That giant mustache

— G. Runyon

* * *

Did what he loved and
Got paid for it handsomely
Suck it, art critics

— O'Cyrus

 

Richard Dawson

1932–2012

Way to get noticed
After years out of spot-
Light? Survey says: Death!

— O'Cyrus

 

Robin Gibb

1949–2012

Summer ends early
Then Robin cannot return
Disco’s really dead

— Dr. Vitz

* * *

Not stayin' alive
Huh huh huh huh huh huh huh
Not stayin' alive

— Jeff Tiedrich

Maurice Sendak

1928-2012

Sendak's journey ends
Now he's qualified to write
Where The Dead Things Are

-- Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

Oh grumpy wild thing,
I loved your stories and art
Sad to reach the end.

 — DeBerk

* * *

Unlike Steve Miller
Everyone called him Maurice
Not just some people

-- Jeff Tiedrich

Dick Clark

1929–2012

Let the last ball drop
On world's oldest teenager's
Rockin' Mid-Year's Grieve

— Jeff Tiedrich

 * * *

New Year's without Clark?
Still fun -- harder to dance to
I give it a six

-- Dr. Vitz

 

Mike Wallace

1918–2012

Flash of pearly whites
A gentle "Forgive me, but..."
He went for the kill

— Russell 1000

* * *

How did anyone
Hiding something think that
They could outwit him?

— O'Cyrus

 

Davy Jones

1945–2012

Now Davy Jones? Jeez.
One more boyhood icon gone
I'm a bereaver

— Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

Pre-teen idol from
Pre-fab foursome
Croaks prematurely

— Russell 1000

* * *

Pop music sweetheart
Just when "sour" became the
Flavor of the month

— Lairbo

 * * *

Mock at your peril;
Stephen Stills auditioned
For the Monkees gig

— Abby Rhodes

 

Joe Frazier

1944–2011

Took down The Greatest
Nearly killed him in Thrilla
Smokin' without grill

— Dr. Vitz

 * * *

Let's turn to Cosell
For the last words on Smokin' Joe:
"And down goes Frazier!"

— Jeff Tiedrich

 

Steve Jobs

1955–2011

Jobs has a new gig:
convincing the living that
death's insanely great

— Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

Having changed our world
Jobs is no doubt now changing
Whatever comes next

— Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

Cannot imagine
How many read his obit  
On a Mac product

— Inshallah

* * *

With the death of Jobs  
The Apple War is over ...  
Paul McCartney wins!

— Inshallah

Bubba Smith

1945–2011

Gentle giant off
The field; on the gridiron,
Not so much "gentle"

— Roger Rabid

 

Peter Falk

1927-2011

I guess the Reaper
Wasn't taken in by that
"One more question" ruse

-- Jeff Tiedrich

Clarence Clemons

1942-2011

You can't imagine
Born to Run without sax break?
Now it's easier

Dr. Vitz

 

Leonard B. Stern

1923-2011

Leonard B. Stern has
[farted]. We mourn his [boner].
We will all [poop] him.

-- Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

Mad Libs, Get Smart,
And The Honeymooners, too?!
Man was a genius

-- O'Cyrus