Celebrity Death Haiku

Merlin Olsen

1940 – 2010

In either outfit — 

Ram or Roman Catholic

Olsen was fearsome

— Phil Valens

Ronald Howes

1926 – 2010

I said it then and 

I'll say it now, it's a light

Bulb in a tin box!

— Lairbo

Doug Fieger

1952 – 2010

Now that Fieger's gone

Expect parody death by

Weird Al Yankovich

— Jeff Tiedrich

* * * 

One-hit wonder, yeah

But such a little pretty

One, My Sharona

— Lairbo

Walter Frederick Morrison

1920 – 2010

Turned flying pie tin

Into competitive sport

For stoners with dogs

— Lairbo

* * * 

He threw a pie tin

Right into the public eye

It really took off

— Meanie the Blue

J.D. Salinger

1919 – 2010

Obituaries

Intrude on my privacy

Make them go away

— Meanie the Blue

* * * 

Will we see more

Glass now or did he decide

To take them with him

— Lairbo

* * * 

Didn't realize the 

Surest way to solitude

Is ubiquity

— Phil Valens

* * *

Only question now

Is which relative will tell

All first and for most

— Russell 1000

Howard Zinn

1922 – 2010

Debunked the Pilgrims

Made us ask whose history

Is it, anyway?

— babatjie

Pernell Roberts

1928 – 2010

Trapper John was bald

Adam's hair was thick; was it

A rug or acting?

— Lairbo

* * *

Left Ponderosa

In a huff, wound up in San

Fran as grouchy doc

— Russell 1000

Erich Segal

1937 – 2010

Singlehandedly

Revived four-hankie weepers

As movie genre

— Lairbo

 

* * *

Love means saying you're 

Sorry a lot, even if 

You're not sure what for

— Phil Valens

* * *

Yellow Submarine

Doesn't begin to balance

Love Story's hokum

— Lairbo

Glenn Bell Jr.

1923 – 2010

Did to tacos what

McD's — for better and worse —

Did to hamburgers

— Lairbo

* * *

Taco Bell founder

Gets his last order to go

First the dog, now this!

— Russell 1000

Donald Goerke

1926 – 2010

Uh-oh. The guy who

Created SpaghettiOs

Passed his sell-by date

— Lairbo

Teddy Pendergrass

1950 – 2010

Virile vocals and

Sensual lyrics crackled with

An erotic charge

— Lairbo

Art Clokey

1921 – 2009

Trippiest TV 

Around until the Kroffts went

All psychedelic

— Russell 1000

* * *

Gumby, Pokey and

Davey & Goliath? Who

The hell was this guy?

— Phil Valens

* * *

Green guy with slanted 

Head, bell-bottom legs and 

A talking horse friend?

— Lairbo

Roy E. Disney

1930 – 2009

Huey or Louie

To Uncle Walt's Donald; a

Mini to his Mouse

— St. Blaise

Robert Degen

1905 – 2009

Shake it all about

Days are over now; he's poked

His final hokey

— Lairbo

* * *

Put his right hand in

With the rest of him; no more

Shaking all about

— Phil Valens

Soupy Sales

1926 – 2009

Best kids' show ever

Pie fights, puppets and — surprise!

A knock at the door

— Lairbo

* * *

Young at Heart never

Never sounded better than 

When Pookie sang it

— Phil Valens

* * *

Like Pee Wee's Playhouse,

Minus the post-modern and

Way creepy subtexts

— Russell 1000

Vic Mizzy

1916 – 2009

TV theme tunesmith

Scores big using finger snaps

And a harpsichord

— Lairbo

Dickie Peterson

1948 – 2009

Ain't no cure for the

Summertime blues. Oh yeah, and

Liver cancer, too

— Jeff Tiedrich

Lucy (in the Sky with Diamonds) O'Donnell Vodden

1962 – 2009

"Julian drew it..."

I always thought that was John

Covering his ass

— Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

Picture yourself in

A boat on a river — it

Sure beats a coffin

— Jeff Tiedrich

Irving Kristol

1920 – 2009

Counterpunched youthful 

Trotskyist leanings with a 

Hard right to the left

— Lairbo

* * *

Neocons mourning 

Spiritual godfather

Of their bastard creed

— St. Blaise

Mary Travers

1936 – 2009

Left Peter and Paul

Puffing the Magic Dragon

No jet plane needed

— Meanie the Blue

* * *

Mary Travers left

In coffin not on jet plane

Friend, that answer blows!

— babatjie

Edward "Ted" Kennedy

1932 – 2009

Symbol to many

Of whatever they needed

To hope for or hate

— Russell 1000

* * *

Some can't forgive his

Not dying young to round out

Tragic trifecta

— Phil Valens

Les Paul

1915 — 2009

Les Paul's legacy:

A whole generation now

Needing hearing aids

— Jeff Tiedrich

* * *

I may only play

Air guitar, but it's always

A Gibson Les Paul

— Lairbo

Gordon Waller

1945 – 2009 (of Peter and Gordon)

This must have been a 

World without love,  'cause Gordon 

Waller did not stay

— Jeff Tiedrich

Mr. Blackwell

1922 – 2008

Died (we only hope)

Wearing something that wouldn't

Have mortified him

— Lairbo

 

Johnny Carson

1920 – 2005

Didn't know it then

But he took The Tonight Show

With him when he left

— Lairbo